Arrows In Our Quiver: September 2011

Today you are three months old. I promised myself that you would not be any older before I wrote down your birth story, so here you go...

We chose to have you at home for many reason, but mainly because it would allow for the most natural birth and allow for our bonding right away! We also felt that having a home birth focused on expanding the family and not only on mom and baby. We are very happy with our decision and hope that we are always able to have this option for future little ones.

You were born on a Friday, but your story begins on a Tuesday. Tuesday morning I woke up with the knowledge that I would be holding you by Friday. I tried not to share this knowledge as we had already been through a few nights where I was all but certain labor was about to kick in.

The week progressed and on Thursday, your father and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary with dinner and not a movie. After dinner we were heading to the theater, but sitting still seemed like a terrible idea so we went shopping. Your Daddy was adorable picking out little outfits for you! We even pick out a few for your cousin (No, we didn't officially know that she was a she, however I am much better at knowing what others are having than my own). During our shopping trip is when I started to have my first contractions. The best part was that I had no idea that they were contractions, I thought that I simply had to go to the bathroom. These did make me very nervous as I surely did not want to go into labor in this state. We went home early because, not knowing I was in labor, I was exhausted. We found Poppy and Gia in the living room and sat a visited for a while. I had to excuse myself several times still not knowing that I was in labor only that I really need to go to the bathroom before labor started!

The night followed the same pattern; I woke up at least seven times with the urge to go all the while praying that I could remedy this situation before labor started, after all tomorrow was Friday.

Friday morning I got up and was bummed that I still had to go to the bathroom, but could not. It wasn't until I was in the shower that a particularly strong "urge" hit me doubling me over and without my consent a low moan escaped. After it all passed I laughed thinking, "I don't need to go to the bathroom, I need to have a baby!" I was only laughing at the fact that I had misinterpreted all the early labor for one of my big fears of going through L/D (not that labor was easy or anything).

I did not tell anyone that I was in labor yet because I was handling it and there was no need to raise the troops too early... and your Daddy was still sleeping. That didn't last too long because contractions started to take my breathe away and when you are swaying with your eyes closed, focusing on breathing and your belly is as wide as you are tall it people start to get suspicious. I told Gia and she did an amazing job containing her excitement. (This would be the third birth of mine she would witness and she knows I am a quiet laborer.) Once your Daddy rounded the corner and saw me and Gia shaking her head behind me, he did a great job containing his excitement too.

We all three went into hyper-cleaning and get-the-boys-taken-care-of mode. I swept the living room while taking breaks to sway and breath. Then I took your brothers in to get dressed. I had helped PT get his pj's off when a strong contraction hit, I squatted down holding onto the changing table and swayed during the contraction. Daddy popped his head in and saw PT hesitating in putting away his dirty clothes and told him to hustle up. Paul Thomas replied, "I can't. There's a big wiggly bottom in my way!" Had I had any breath left I would have chuckled! The mood in the house was unique because everyone was excited that labor had started and yet everyone did a great job ignoring that fact so that I could be either distracted or focused, whichever was necessary at the moment.

Around nine o-clock we called the midwife to inform her, but not to come yet. At this point I knew you would be here before noon. Looking back I should have told at least Rebekah that. I got in the shower and worked on my mental game. I tried really hard to embrace each contraction and focus on what was happening in my body. I asked God to instruct me because this labor was not "by the book".  My contractions where still 5 to sometimes 7 minutes apart, so by that measure alone it was not time to have our midwife come.  But something told me otherwise. Shortly after my prayer I got out and met your Daddy in the hallway and with one look he picked up the phone and made the call. Rebekah was on her way.

Now came the fun part.  With Paul Thomas' birth I really clung to Gia for support as I knew she had been there before.  With Avery's birth I just tried to hang on and ride it out because it was so fast.  With you, Colette, I clung to your Daddy. He kept me strong and supported me physically, mentally and spiritually when I was too weak. Your Daddy did such an amazing job.  He was strong and quiet during contractions completely supporting you and me, allowing all my focus to be on the work at hand. Once each contraction was over he would gently whisper words of encouragement.

We labored together until Rebekah, the midwife came. With one look she knew we were close. She checked me and the exchange went like this...
Rebekah: "I don't feel a cervix!"
Me, completely freaking out thinking this whole thing was a waste because I lost my cervix: "What does that mean?!"
Rebekah: "It means you're complete, you can start pushing."
Me in disbelief: "What!!!! No I can't be!  I'm always a 5!"
Rebekah just laughed and said that was the first time someone couldn't believe they were as far along as they were. I was amazed because my contractions, still at their closest, were 4 1/2 minutes apart and everything was so clam. I started to push with contractions just to the point of where it felt right. You were still very high so I had a lot of work ahead. The other women arrived shortly after. There was Pam, Rebekah's mother in law who is just shy of taking the midwife exam and her daughter Victoria. They were great! Not too long after they came and had the room set up that I start to really push. At 11:56 my water broke and at 11:58 you were born. With one gentle push and you were in my arms. Pam caught you and said you were the slipperiest baby she had every caught.

All the ladies were great because they allowed me to labor just how I wanted too. If they needed to check your heart beat they squatted down with me and found a way to not interrupt my focus and still get all the stats they needed. I delivered you in a squatting position, which never would have been possible in a hospital, but because gravity was on my side everything was so much easier. Because the bag of water was intact for so long I never felt you crown and everything was so much less painful during actual delivery.

Your birth was anything but conventional according to American medicine. However it was very conventional according to how God created us to have children. Your birth was neither fearful like my first, nor uncontrollably fast like my second. It was calm and supportive and embraced be an entire family. I grew so much closer to your Daddy and he grew so much closer to you, being able to take such an active role in your delivery. I really felt that your Daddy was my rock this time and was profoundly touched by the strength and calm he brought me.