Sorting out

This week the USCCB has declared NFP awareness week in honor of Humanae Vitae.

I think it is somewhat of a tragedy that they do. The emphasis of our sacramental love is shifted to the exception of the sacrament verse focusing on what should be the norm. It is as if we have a week celebrating or aware-ing us all the exception of receiving the Eucharist in the hand verses the norm of receiving on the tongue.  NFP has a place as a tool only a tool, it is not actual teaching of the Church. Nothing in the Church doctrine say NFP is of the church or of grace giving...it is morally permissible under the correct conditions only. Unlike sacramentals and devotions which are encouraged throughout Church history. 

Has good come from NFP, absolutely. Good has also come from Retrouvaille, as well. These are both tools and should be treated as such, very handy, very useful and have a purpose in a context, but are that, only tools. These are expectations not the norms. 

These past four weeks, I have spent pouring over the Catechism, Encyclicals, addresses, papers and forms and am still hashing out the ins and outs of all this. What I do know is the current, modern approach to NFP is an extremely contraceptive one.  Most diocese, including the one we were married in 13 years ago, required us to take an intro and two follow ups of  NFP. WHY? If it's because "most couples with engage in conception in some form so let's give them a morally licit one" that is not morally licit. NFP as alternative to conception is not morally licit. You cannot use NFP with a contraceptive mindset. And as thus you have successful paraded young Catholics into grave matter. This is same mentality that says young people will have sex any way so give them condoms to limit STDs. 

Teach the young couples their wedding vows, how at the Altar they will vow to accept children generously from the Lord and vow to teach them in the ways of the faith. Teach them that children are the crowning glory of the marriage. Teach them that if there is reason to delay children, there is reason to reexamine their wedding date. 

I think that NFP is being sold in a deceptive way, a way that is diminishing our openness to life. 

I write this as a supremely frustrated lay person, but not as someone who has any right to judge any decisions, you, your spouse and spiritual director have come to under pray and discernment. Every family and situation is entirely unique. Good has certainly come from the use of NFP, and there is a place for it as a tool to be used under proper discernment.

As I am sorting this out my first question is why did the Church allow the use of NFP in the first place, which the first time a Pope addressed this in the 1850's? Was it out of fear that many would follow the way of contraception? Was it because the unify aspect of conjugal love was being discussed and it's importance was thus that extremely long periods of abstinence was not good?

Specific Prayers

Well I think God can handle this request. The caveat at the end does adds a new dimension.

"And for Bennett and Rexy and Olivia that they will be healfy and grow up to use forkes and napkins all the time."

Dying for Heaven

These two were doing what these two do best these days...wrestling, pestering, pushing boundaries with each other while trying not to get into trouble after Mass in the car. Avery through a giggly/slightly painful laugh, "No no, I don't want to die!" 

(Just the part I opened the door to hear; there was some sort of escalating fictional scenario happening.)

George from the back seat in all sincerity, "But Avery if you don't die then you can't go to Heaven."

Aren't we, as adults, so often focused on the wrong thing...death is not the end.

Grace Before Meals

Do you know why you pray before meals?

According to George, "If you sneak food before you pray then the food is moldy. So that is why you have to pray before you eat!"

Too Much

Too Much!

This is kind of how I feel right now watching all that is happening in our church at the moment.  

These two were waiting the explosion of fireworks and I sit waiting the explosion of lies and cover ups and sins and laws broken.  I still don't understand why these people feel they are above the law, God's and country. What I really want to do it go and slap and then yell at them all because they have acted in the most selfish way imaginable, which is the antitheses of how I am trying to rear our children.

Sacrifice

Today we embark on a forty days of fasting and penitence in reparation for our church. As a family discussed how priest over the years had broken the law and their bishops lied and covered. We were able to talk to the children about how lies are always found out and always cause so much more damage than just accepting consequences. It is amazing how much our children get and how they see with unclouded eyes...you do right even if its uncomfortable or even painful. We also discussed about how Jesus dying on the cross was reparation for our sins and so know we are trying to imitate Jesus with small acts of reparation, small sacrifices. So we asked for ideas, "So guys what should we sacrifice?"

In the most excited, enthusiast voice two arms in the air, "ME!"

We are not giving up Anastasia, we are giving up movies, which always hits momma harder than anyone else, treats, snooze buttons and Paul Thomas is trying not to stay up so late reading, Avery is giving up some playtime for praytime and Mary Colette wants to go to "Everyday Mass". We will do what we can and offer all that we do for the healing of our Church, the healing of the victims and the souls of priest and bishops.

My Beautiful Girl!

Feeling rather frumpy and disappointed in myself that my post baby body is just not where I hoped it to be, I pulled on a skirt and top, one that usually is worn much closer to after having a baby, and sighing in front of the mirror and reconciled myself not fret anymore about the situation and move on. Then my Beautiful Girl came bounding around the corner and gasp, "I wish I were as beautiful as you!" she exclaimed.

One Sunday I got a rare treat to take just Mary Colette and Eleanor to Mass. Both were stellar, during the Consecration Mary Colette leaned over and asked in astonishment, "What's the Word?" Her eyes sparkling to say if only we knew the correct word all would be well. 

Oh my Beautiful Girl, you are stunning, beautiful, generous, nurturing and a romantic. I love you so much, more than I show. You are so mature and capable of so much that I so often forget to let you be five. We are so very blessed to have you.

Four Year Old Theologian

After dropping off Gia, Mary Colette in a very sad voice said, "I don't want Gia to move!"

"I know, maybe God will let us move close by them," trying to console myself more than her.

After a bit in a frustrated, exasperated, forlorn tone, "Why does God get to make all the decisions!"

After looking for a bit at the pictures on the cover of one of our rosary books she got worried and said, "Mommy, Mommy look! That's where they put Jesus on the cross! I wish they didn't do that. Then Jesus would still be with us today!"

"That's how much Jesus loves you. He was willing to die for you on the cross." Really one needs to witness all the facial and body expressions that go along with any discussion with this cherub...hands over mouth in anticipation and worry, swaying and arms crossed over heart at the mention of love.

"Yeah, that's good because now he's in heaven."-Mary Colette

A moment to reflect...(this was all happening while I was wrestling a very wiggly baby into a diaper.)

"Maybe we have to get on the cross to be with Jesus in Heaven!" She said this in a very hopeful and matter of fact tone, as if to say "that's that...dust off your hands and get on your cross." She then happily skipped away.

Oh my little one, how profound those words are.

Weekly entertainment!

 What do you get when you cross this:

One supey dupey Curly Sue with:

One Handsome Young Man?

Give up? You get your weekly dose of comic relief during our regular attended Mass time of 8:00 am. Every morning should begin with a laugh or two and we will provide those as our family awkwardly adjusts to Mass with 5 saint-makers. Please sit back and enjoy the show.

At our second Mass as a family of 7 during the passing of the collection basket (which is a new thing at our parish and is already incredibly awkward as is) every child feels the need to touch and pass the basket along with proudly flinging in their offering or slyly stashing it. We parents must be ever vigilant against this short changing Our Lord and disarming the loud accusations that will surely follow as so-and-so doesn't love God and therefore wants to spend all of eternity in you-know-where. So this part of Mass is a BIG DEAL and, well, during our recent offertory as an adult was passing the basket along to and un-named bouncy Joy Boy the basket dropped to the floor spilling all it's contents, mainly clanky change, to the floor. (Thank goodness for carpet.) Thus began the awkward shuffle of recollecting the collection and making sure that none of our children profited from this misfortune. All the while trying not to make eye contact with anyone.

Well, that was two Sundays ago.  How about the Curly Sue and Handsome Young Man? It all began as my Gentleman let his momma and sister go ahead of him in the communion line. Just as we all approached Father there was a small commotion behind momma that was steadily growing in intensity. There was some tugging and pushing, confusion, some very loud "owies" and "stop"s. After receiving, Momma turned around to give the death stare because her humiliation was growing with the volume of little girl's frustration, only to find that Curly Sue had her curls wrapped all around Handsome Young Man's suit buttons on his sleeve. So being very attached to one another Momma swiffly picked up Curly Sue and side shuffled with Handsome Young Man, while still maintaining a strong hold on Indifferent Little Brother in the other arm, to the front side of the church, set Curly Sue free who was on the verge of tears not at all understanding why her brother would inflict such pain in such a public place. Momma rescued Curly Sue into her arms while doing a very awkward baby shuffle with Almost Knight in Shining Armor, who carried the two youngest family members back to our pew so we all could endure the last awkward pew shuffle of kids now that we had EVERYBODY's attention...Don't believe me, about a dozen fellow parishioners, along with Father Hector, all commented on the commotion afterward. 

Advent

This year for Advent we are trying as a family to make it more prayerful and a better time to prepare for the birth of Our Lord. We had talked as a family about giving up something and entering more of a fasting period before we celebrate the Christmas season.

Overheard from the back seats:

Avery: Let's give up sweets and gluten.

Paul Thomas: No not gluten, then we can't eat very much!

Mary Colette in all seriousness: I'm going to give up making meatballs!

As a family we are giving up sweets, not gluten, yet and I will remind Mary Colette when the urge to make meatballs comes that she will have to offer it up. 

We found a new Advent tradition as well, making our own candles!

True Hero

My nephew and Avery were sitting having breakfast after a wonderful weekend filled with lots of prayers and Masses as we witnessed our beloved Uncle Matty become Fr. Hoelscher. As they were off in their own little world they had fantastical conversation about the monster and the knight that slayed him. The monster sounded appropriately grotesque with one eye and tooth, a beard and probably oozing snot or something. The knight well, he was none other than Jesus riding his majestic horse and protecting the castle. They laughed and giggled at how he slayed the disgusting monster and yes they were a little silly about it all, what remained was the hero was Jesus. They did not choose a popular character or even St. George (he is very popular in our house right now) the went straight for the big guns. Because when there is a really ugly monster that needs to be slayn you better go straight to the source of goodness, Our Lord. 

After witnessing this interaction between these two I thought how blessed we are as parents that our children can authentically share their faith with all members of our family and how blessed that in their littleness of a simple imagination they grasp the greatness of Our Lord.

Dodging Lighting

When I was growing up I thought it was so amazing that on my Dad's side everyone knew a foreign language.  Well at least before meals we did! "BlessohLordandthesethygifts...."

In an attempt to help our children learn to pray, we have drastically reduced the speed at which most prayers are prayed in our household.  It doesn't always work though. Every night I find myself praying extra hard during the Lord's Prayer.

"Our Father, who art in Heaven....Thy will be dumb,"

I also try to stand as far from Avery as possible, just in case.

Mass Mishaps

Our Catholic Faith is ingrained in our very fiber of being, at least I pray it is. And we aspire to help ingrain it into our children's lives as well. As with all goals and aspirations there are bound to be some mishaps and bumps along the way. Our youngest is really growing in her understanding of the Mass in our daily life. She recognizes The Lord's Prayer during Mass from our nightly routine and greets Father Hector with the Sign of the Cross.  There is another aspect of Mass that she has brought into our daily lives...yes, all of our bathrooms are on constant lock down now as our porcelain fonts are frequented daily for blessings. 

Not quite sure if that counts as holy water.