Sweet Heaviness

It's dark and quiet. Heavy breathing fills the house. It's our time, only our time. Through my grogginess we settle down. How I wish you slept through the night. Right side first-always. Your body relaxes as does mine. Your hunger is satisfied-now for your comfort-left. I sigh as your profile is tell-tell baby. You need me still in such an intimate way, a way the others have out grown. You sigh and look up with your content half smile, eyes happily glazed. Up on my shoulder, one, two, three, four, five steps a small settling burp and your body collapses into sweet heaviness. You allow me to kiss you and inhale your fleeting moments of babyhood. You grab your blanket and roll over in your crib. I hope you wake up tomorrow night.

(I found this in the bottom of my desk drawer, it must have been written back in February or March as you did indeed start sleeping through the night soon after.)

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It is not easy being the oldest...I am sure any oldest will tell you that.

We as parents mess up a lot, and mostly when faced with new situations, which happens the most with the oldest. I am sorry! You are constantly caught between child and little adult helper in the family. You shoulder the most responsibility and long for the most respect because who you look up to adults in the family setting. What a challenging balancing act you most feel you are doing, what a confusing place you most constantly be in.  I wish we could make it easier for you and in a few years we will more than likely see how we could have and regret decisions we made now. One thing for sure we need to be more patience and understanding that as you are super responsible, you are still just a child. We need to allow more mistakes and more freedom too. It is so very hard to know when to allow you to grow up and how...it will come all on its own, how tight do we hold on?

I need to strive to see this smile everyday. There needs to be more joy in your life.

I love you deeply, my son. 

Manic Monday

Reminder

Here is a friendly reminder that the person staying home with the children needs to be thanked today. That person deals with a great deal of bodily fluids, every. single. day.

Go ahead and thank them and buy them some dark chocolate. 

Manic Monday

Sharing her poem with Grandma Driver.

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Horsing Around

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