It is not easy being the oldest...I am sure any oldest will tell you that.
We as parents mess up a lot, and mostly when faced with new situations, which happens the most with the oldest. I am sorry! You are constantly caught between child and little adult helper in the family. You shoulder the most responsibility and long for the most respect because who you look up to adults in the family setting. What a challenging balancing act you most feel you are doing, what a confusing place you most constantly be in. I wish we could make it easier for you and in a few years we will more than likely see how we could have and regret decisions we made now. One thing for sure we need to be more patience and understanding that as you are super responsible, you are still just a child. We need to allow more mistakes and more freedom too. It is so very hard to know when to allow you to grow up and how...it will come all on its own, how tight do we hold on?
I need to strive to see this smile everyday. There needs to be more joy in your life.
I love you deeply, my son.
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