You stopped nursing five months ago. I miss it, I miss you. Even though there is another little one in my lap now, I still long for our quiet peaceful nursings at night. Your desire to be quieted and settled by me and what only I could give you. As that time quickly slipped by I made an effort to savor and acknowledge the moment. The way you slipped back into babyhood as you nursed, your sweet profile and how we knew these times were fleeting and yet so rejuvenating. My favorite, only you, thing was when you finished you would look me straight in the eyes and smile at me. Then slowly allow sleep to take over again. As I lifted you up, head on my shoulder I rubbed your back once, twice, a full body sigh from you and all your weight pressed into me; complete trust, complete content. I'd linger at your bed, feeling your little body's weight for a bit longer, knowing that soon, too soon you would follow your siblings and grow beyond this need, this moment in life.