Halloween-y

Two day's before Halloween and some little ones where expressing, continuously, our lack of Halloween preparedness. So a pumpkin for everyone and craving tools in hand these amazing kids (and Daddy) whipped out some pretty spectacular pumpkins. In 2 hours and 15 minutes we accomplished 7 jack-o-lanterns and dinner! 

Always listening

We are currently fostering four kittens with the intention of keeping one or two or three or please no don't go there.

Our efforts to get them acquainted with the outside failed miserably. They scurried to the shop, no biggie, but then they found a golden hiding spot-the engine to the van. Well, the first time I easily extracted two kittens after much pleading with St. Francis to not let me pop the hood to find bloody cats. No blood just scared little critters and all was well and I thought that was that. 

Well, two days later and we need to go and I beg Philip to check the engine before we back out...three!

After thirty minutes and many frustrated words and broom pokes that last cat came out and was caught, that cat ran back into the engine as Philip was backing out so there were words about the intelligence of this creature.

So just before we get to Gia and Poppy's, thirty minutes late Eleanor ask, "Mommee-a, Super Cute was in the engine?"

"Yes"

"And when a cat's in the engines that's why they're an idiot?"

Absolutely.

Hello-ween

My Goodness, it's been awhile!

Life has been crazy-crazy good, crazy hard, crazy disheartening, crazy busy. 

Yes, I know, "This too shall pass." 

And, "In a few years all this will seem like a lifetime ago."

However, it's not a few years at the moment, at the moment it is right now and right now is crazy. 

With the new school year we took the bold approach to join two more co-ops making it a total of three. All day Tuesday and Wednesday are filled with wonderful classes and even better people and then once a month we meet for a really fun Geography co-op. All is so much fun, but really taxing on the daily home school schedule. Which translate into studies taking place up until 5:00 and then after dinner most nights and still not enough time. 

Whenever I complain about the lack of time two teachings ring in my ears. First when the sisters complained to St. Mother Teresa about lack of time and she replied with adding an hour of adoration to their schedule and the passage in the Screwtape Letters about how easy it is to make the temptee believe he is in charge of his day and forget the entire day is a gift from God. How quickly we plan and forget to be thankful. Unfortunately, even as I am reminded of these two prodding I still find myself in the same state at the end of day. I know an hour of adoration is not feasible at this point in my vocation, however a few moments of intentional prayer is.

Well, that was not exactly what I had planned on typing, actually I planned on typing very little and just sharing a few Halloween pictures, so onto the pictures...

 

Oldest and youngest

Averykin

Always the antagonist.

The long long time ago crew.

Our Little Angel

She wanted a blue princess dress to be a Blue Princess.

And finally the best dressed award this year goes to, Fly Ballerina Unikitty!

I did not get a group picture so maybe we can do it later. (That will never happen)

Today is an off day of school to celebrate my favorite feast day.

All You Holy Men and Women Pray for Us!

Sweet Heaviness

It's dark and quiet. Heavy breathing fills the house. It's our time, only our time. Through my grogginess we settle down. How I wish you slept through the night. Right side first-always. Your body relaxes as does mine. Your hunger is satisfied-now for your comfort-left. I sigh as your profile is tell-tell baby. You need me still in such an intimate way, a way the others have out grown. You sigh and look up with your content half smile, eyes happily glazed. Up on my shoulder, one, two, three, four, five steps a small settling burp and your body collapses into sweet heaviness. You allow me to kiss you and inhale your fleeting moments of babyhood. You grab your blanket and roll over in your crib. I hope you wake up tomorrow night.

(I found this in the bottom of my desk drawer, it must have been written back in February or March as you did indeed start sleeping through the night soon after.)

Friday Photo Favorites

It is not easy being the oldest...I am sure any oldest will tell you that.

We as parents mess up a lot, and mostly when faced with new situations, which happens the most with the oldest. I am sorry! You are constantly caught between child and little adult helper in the family. You shoulder the most responsibility and long for the most respect because who you look up to adults in the family setting. What a challenging balancing act you most feel you are doing, what a confusing place you most constantly be in.  I wish we could make it easier for you and in a few years we will more than likely see how we could have and regret decisions we made now. One thing for sure we need to be more patience and understanding that as you are super responsible, you are still just a child. We need to allow more mistakes and more freedom too. It is so very hard to know when to allow you to grow up and how...it will come all on its own, how tight do we hold on?

I need to strive to see this smile everyday. There needs to be more joy in your life.

I love you deeply, my son. 

Manic Monday

Reminder

Here is a friendly reminder that the person staying home with the children needs to be thanked today. That person deals with a great deal of bodily fluids, every. single. day.

Go ahead and thank them and buy them some dark chocolate. 

Manic Monday

Sharing her poem with Grandma Driver.

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Horsing Around

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Sing-Song

It's nine o'clock and there has already been three outfit changes and of promise of many more. Her first request almost every single day is for me to turn on the Ballet music, however this request is also almost always sung with arms gently outstretched like a perfect three year old ballerina. Most request are sung and if the reply is sung back it is always heeded. She also decompresses and processes her day by song alone in her bedroom, however her voice carries so we all know what was the best part of the day and what troubled her the most. She is just so very much fun! Right now we are best friends, in her mind and I love it. She ask me daily to jump on the trampoline with her and to play house, I am the kid.

Her favorite sayings, "Wait a minute, wait a minute.'

"Actually..."

"Wait, where are my sisters?"

"I'm the ABC"

This one is because after reading The Penderwicks, we picked up the phase OAP/OAB (oldest available Penderwick/Blaxton) who is left in charge of a situation. Oh my goodness what an honor to be the OAB for those that are not usually left in charge. So now Eleanor will help me set the table and declare herself the "ABC"

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Sliding through Summer!

Sorting out

This week the USCCB has declared NFP awareness week in honor of Humanae Vitae.

I think it is somewhat of a tragedy that they do. The emphasis of our sacramental love is shifted to the exception of the sacrament verse focusing on what should be the norm. It is as if we have a week celebrating or aware-ing us all the exception of receiving the Eucharist in the hand verses the norm of receiving on the tongue.  NFP has a place as a tool only a tool, it is not actual teaching of the Church. Nothing in the Church doctrine say NFP is of the church or of grace giving...it is morally permissible under the correct conditions only. Unlike sacramentals and devotions which are encouraged throughout Church history. 

Has good come from NFP, absolutely. Good has also come from Retrouvaille, as well. These are both tools and should be treated as such, very handy, very useful and have a purpose in a context, but are that, only tools. These are expectations not the norms. 

These past four weeks, I have spent pouring over the Catechism, Encyclicals, addresses, papers and forms and am still hashing out the ins and outs of all this. What I do know is the current, modern approach to NFP is an extremely contraceptive one.  Most diocese, including the one we were married in 13 years ago, required us to take an intro and two follow ups of  NFP. WHY? If it's because "most couples with engage in conception in some form so let's give them a morally licit one" that is not morally licit. NFP as alternative to conception is not morally licit. You cannot use NFP with a contraceptive mindset. And as thus you have successful paraded young Catholics into grave matter. This is same mentality that says young people will have sex any way so give them condoms to limit STDs. 

Teach the young couples their wedding vows, how at the Altar they will vow to accept children generously from the Lord and vow to teach them in the ways of the faith. Teach them that children are the crowning glory of the marriage. Teach them that if there is reason to delay children, there is reason to reexamine their wedding date. 

I think that NFP is being sold in a deceptive way, a way that is diminishing our openness to life. 

I write this as a supremely frustrated lay person, but not as someone who has any right to judge any decisions, you, your spouse and spiritual director have come to under pray and discernment. Every family and situation is entirely unique. Good has certainly come from the use of NFP, and there is a place for it as a tool to be used under proper discernment.

As I am sorting this out my first question is why did the Church allow the use of NFP in the first place, which the first time a Pope addressed this in the 1850's? Was it out of fear that many would follow the way of contraception? Was it because the unify aspect of conjugal love was being discussed and it's importance was thus that extremely long periods of abstinence was not good?

Big Sky

Oh how I miss the Texas sky. Big sky. With sunsets that wrapped all the way around you. I miss seeing for miles and the big deep breath that comes with it. However, the sunsets at The Hill can be pretty spectacular as well.

So often in the mornings and evenings there is mist rolling over the hills.

God's display on July 4th.

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When I flip through the pictures this one shocked me...I don't see my 4 year old Annie K. I see my 8 year old Mary Colette. Anastasia, you are stunning, just like your sisters. I pray your physical beauty does not define you, but that your physical beauty is simply making the invisible visible. 

Who's who?

I thought these two look similar and like their own all together. 

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What an honor. How blessed our children are having a Fruncle on each side.

At the end of May we witnessed Fr. Stephen Blaxton's ordination. How very, very blessed to be rearing our children in the midst of faith lived daily. 

I remember so keenly my older sister coming and staying with me the first eight days after being initiated into motherhood. Her gift of self was overwhelming and not fully recognized to the actual degree until later. She sat with me as I learned to navigate the ends and outs of early motherhood. Her sitting across from me as we both nursed our little ones was so very much like her bestowing her blessing on me, saying, "you can do this, it will be the hardest thing you will ever do, but you can do this. We traveled this road before and it will be traveled again, come along you are not alone in your vocation." 

As my brother is not Fr. Stephen's brother biologically, they are part of a bigger, deeper brotherhood of Christ. There have been priest before and there will be priest after these two, and they all will travel the vocational road all the same, and they are not alone. 

Unpacking

We unpacked a box yesterday. I thought it was full of pillows-it was not. We found all the early picture cds from our marriage, which included a lot of Paul Thomas' first few months. Goodness that was a trip to memory lane. I want to say it was all rosy memories, but the truth is when I saw pictures of me, I saw so much pain and confusion. I saw me desperately wanting guidance and protection. 

The first is so very, very hard. I relived how the most important day of my life was tainted by misguided intentions. How I, as a person, was completely disregarded the moment my child was born. 

I remembered thinking that day, "Why don't you protect me! I am strapped down unable to move, I've been through the ringer, protect me!" Honestly, I thought it again yesterday. 

Yesterday, I actually got enraged thinking about how this very most intimated family time was shattered by self seeking individuals. Individuals that never once stop to ask if we were okay with what they were doing, just that they were doing it regardless. Yesterday, I vented to Philip and then cried and then vented. He is the best. He apologized for not protecting me, he is not at fault, he needed protection and guidance too. 

Maybe one day I can look at those pictures and look in awe of that young woman who endured so much more than 18 hours of pictocin induced labor, but endured it while being trampled on and as she wanted to scream and yell, she kept it together. Maybe one of these days not only will that strong and capable woman be seen, but she will influence growth and peace in this woman. Maybe those wounds will turn into scars. Scars are simple reminders of life lived, wounds seep pain and frustration. Maybe someday soon I'll be more like her.

Introducing

Nox and Luna.

Yes, we have arrived at "what in the world" stage of life. They really are very sweet and also very happy to not spend anytime with us as well, in true cat fashion. They have made mornings so much more pleasant as most grumpiness is defused by cat cuddles. 

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Oh this sweetness right here. Pudgy little hands, sparkling eyes, doggy ears and a momma heart. She is usually the first up in the morning and asking for ballet, or a book or some way to spend time together. She loves her sisters fiercely and is keenly aware of someone else, who is a bit of a ham, getting a bit more attention. She and George are also buddies and I find them together reading, reading, reading the same wonderful books, giggling at all the same places over and over again. And somehow tomorrow she will be three!

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Summer time and the living's easy.

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Love these silly people.

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Missing some cousin buddies.

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Just relaxing between calls.

Confused

We went to the library yesterday for a fun science class. While there experiencing the wonder of bubbles and blowing mega ones we also experienced a not so straight forward encounter. One brought on by our evolving world. A world I firmly believed is being pushed into this evolution by the Author of Lies. There was a child among us with complete ambitious outward characteristic in terms of gender. Hair cut on onside denoted a cute trendy feminine cut and the other a hard clean buzz cut. Clothes where ambitious and young enough to just not know.

I watched, at first my four did not notice as they occupied a table by themselves. This child sat alone with new comers finding room at other tables, until the instructor consolidated the tables. No one was disguised or offended by the child, just confused. And the rest of the children just didn't know how to approach an unknown. In the end everyone had a great time, however the environment was more subdued than usual. 

Afterwards Mary Colette came to me with sincere concern and confusion and even as she spoke of the child and her confusion she stumble over pronouns, stopping short of saying "what" for the child. She knew that "what" and "it" stripped away God's given dignity. She genuinely wrestled with the new situation as much as I did from a parental viewpoint. 

My heart spun with emotions: my child's confusion will soon if not already be labeled bigotry, our very foundation of our Knowledge of God, our very being, is being undermined (So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him: male and female he created them.), that this poor child is going through a very terrible and damaging social experiment at somebody's else hands. When will it end! This is the next step, once the sanctity of womanhood/motherhood was destroyed the next step is to destroy the sanctity of humanity itself, reducing our 'identity' to disordered passions.

How I long for the debate on whether hot dogs could be consider a descend lunch.

Specific Prayers

Well I think God can handle this request. The caveat at the end does adds a new dimension.

"And for Bennett and Rexy and Olivia that they will be healfy and grow up to use forkes and napkins all the time."

Camping

We went camping this weekend for the first time as a family. It was camping in my books because our "Log-in" did not have running water, thus making late night bathroom trips an adventure. We carried our water around in "tin-cans",  and found lots and lots of "allergy" in the lake. Even with the rain most of the time it was such a wonderful experience with family and some really amazing friends.

This is one of those rare events where there was no pictures taken...just slowing down and enjoying life. 

Enjoy our Easter Picture instead.

Writing Assignments

The Boys are participating in their first writing class and have given permission to share their work here. Writing/Language Arts is a serious short coming of mine therefore, we are so very grateful that they have this opportunity to develop this skill set with such patience, caring and knowledgeable teacher. 

Jude the Shrewd Grasshopper

Once upon a time a grasshopper named Jude, who was gleefully playing with his friends, Thomas, Avery, Gabriel and Damian, when he spotted Queen Anna and her army of Ants gathering food. Jude hopped over and asked her, “Your Majesty, why are you gathering food?” She replied, “We are collecting food for the winter”. During that years’ bitter winter, Jude found he had no food because, he wasted his summer playing. “I will go and request from Queen Anna I may stay with her.” When he arrived, he pleaded with her. He finally persuaded her, “but only this once!” she remarked. While they were making merry, Thomas, Avery, Gabriel and Damian, who were too dim-witted to remember the ants, suffered a terrible death from frost bite and were never seen again. Moral: it is wise to plan ahead, or at least to be friends with those who do.

Sleeping on Empty Bellies

            In an old, drafty house where there were four children, Constance, who was always disagreeing with everyone, except when she got her way, was composing some rude poetry. Her dresser was always turned out and the contents were strewn all over the room, except when Cate energetically put everything in its proper place and removed the moldy pieces of food. Renny could persuade Constance the best and Constance always tormented Sticky. The four of them, having followed Mr. Benedict’s riddles, had run away from home, Constance riding piggy-back because she was only 3 years old. Constance had stuffed her sleeves with crackers, started snacking on them when they came to a sheltered spot. Renny, Sticky and Cate were all starving from their trip. Renny asked if she would share her snack and she answered, “well, you should have brought along your own food!” Renny decided not to give her a reason to make some rude poem, so he dropped it. The three of them slept on empty bellies, and Constance slept like a baby. Moral: plan ahead.

Wide

I have heard the term wide family tossed around, however I never really gave it much thought, until Paul Thomas said, "When Bennett's my age..." 

My heart leaped into my throat because when Bennett's your age, an age that is very, very much a child and very, very much my baby you will be the same age that I was when I had you.

Follow? When Bennett is Paul Thomas' age (almost 12) Paul Thomas will be almost 24. Paul Thomas was born when I was 23...yup that all went crazy in my head/heart/stomach at just those four words being uttered. So I guess we have a wide family...children span many age ranges and as it is something that is a bit foreign to Philip and myself, as our families growing up were fairly tight in size and span it has been the most wonderful of gifts God has given. 

As I write this please know that we understand that this is a gift. A gift in which we have been richly spoiled by God with, and in no way want to come off flaunting or bragging or come across as "a good catholic family". We do want to celebrate what we have received as we are able to witness God's love in our everyday with our family. 

All the children were lining up for a big class picture at Co-op and as I turned to find my littlest, there he was in the midst of his proud, adoring brother. And by the end of the photo three more boys had held him and loved on him. Not one child minded having a little around and instead it seemed more complete to have this wide range. This is the blessing of a wide family and wide friends.

Baby Tap

He did this for an hour!

His Daddy calls him Party Boy and it fits.

Dying for Heaven

These two were doing what these two do best these days...wrestling, pestering, pushing boundaries with each other while trying not to get into trouble after Mass in the car. Avery through a giggly/slightly painful laugh, "No no, I don't want to die!" 

(Just the part I opened the door to hear; there was some sort of escalating fictional scenario happening.)

George from the back seat in all sincerity, "But Avery if you don't die then you can't go to Heaven."

Aren't we, as adults, so often focused on the wrong thing...death is not the end.

Friday Photo Favorites

HOW? WHY? WHEN?

When the Cats Away

Everyday is something new with Eleanor...everyday is a new unique request.

Friday both George and Annie were at Gia and Poppy's so Eleanor's request was especially funny to me-a girl-with sisters-with closets full of clothes. 

As Philip was getting her dressed nothing would suffice and finally she said, "Mommee, come here"

"Come with me"

Hand in Hand we ended up staring in the big girls' closet

"I wear 'Stasia' mass dress."

Ummm...okay.

There will be so many peace treaties in our future.

Two days later Eleanor had a major melt down because Anastasia was going outside to play in the snow and she was wearing Mary Colette's too small boots, which all of the girls knew formerly belonged to the oldest giggly girl. Oh the tears that were shed, Eleanor so wanted and could not understand why Anastasia wouldn't/couldn't wear her four sizes too small snow boots.

There is a video...

This morning as we were cuddling when Bennett began to really holler, so in an effort to get all on board with rescuing the caged baby, "Oh I hear our Bennett! Shall we go rescue him?" in a way too excited voice for that early in the morning with too little sleep.

Her responds, "Maybe we should cover our hears." Which she did and turned into me for more cuddles.

The other evening at dinner after a full tummy she leaned back and said, "Daddy, I happy" in a rather melancholic voice. Pretty sure happy meant content and tired, put me to bed. At least that was the interpretation we went with. 

After a nights rest she came bouncing into the kitchen and asked, "Mommy, I be funny?"

"Yes you can be funny."

"Ooo-tay, I go be funny." and she bounced away. 

She was struggling to get wrapped up in her blanket so I helped, tears and tears, "No, I not be Mary" I put the blanket over her head because all the days before she would cry because her hair was cold. Oh the life of a melancholic two year old is very distressing, to her and very amusing to me. 

Friday Photo Favorites

Anastasia Kim!

We love you!

What do you call...

What do you call it when your two year crawls into bed in the morning and promptly throws up on your sheets? Then, after the sheets are washed and put back on your bed your four year old falls asleep on the nice clean, crisp, sheets and wets on them...that is called Job Security! 

My position will be around for awhile.

(It's also called threadbare sheets.)