Grace Before Meals

Do you know why you pray before meals?

According to George, "If you sneak food before you pray then the food is moldy. So that is why you have to pray before you eat!"

Very, Very NIIIICE

Conversation this morning with Eleanor

Mommee, I miss Poppy.

Oh, do you want to see if we can get Poppy on the phone?

Nooo

Do you want to see if we can get Gia on the phone?

Yeah...Get Gia on the phone...forever?

Forever?!

Yeah, because that would be very, very niiice.

Everything with Ellie is either "Very, very niiice" or contrary. Her requested nightly bedtime songs are "Mary, Mary contrary" and "Ellie Elephant," tunes made up on the spot.

She is perpetually "Hung-y" however no source of food with alleviate this situation. And we have come to interpreted it as her own little Eeyore-ness.

She either wants 10 bows or none and she will decide, but always two rubber bands, but only occasionally two doggie ears.

When it is raining, it is" wetting".

She, for days at a time, will refer to Benedict as Norbert, especially if he is wearing light blue and/or a hood. (Throw back to Halloween)

She takes her imaginary play very seriously, as she declared yesterday, "Mommee, my name 'Little Flower'" and that was, indeed, her name all day...along with Anastasia being "Golden Hair", George was "Yo" and Mary Colette alternated between "Ella, Teacher and Mom," depending on moment. She did not miss a step during their all day long game. If you want to her silly cuteness listen to a 2 year old walk around calling "Yo" and a 5 year old answering. 

Sweet Eleanor, being in the bottom of a wide family, is perpetually exhausted, hungry and loved. There are four very eager big siblings that will read her her favorite books...those that can't read have them memorized. She has three big siblings would do anything for a snuggle from her. And now she has one big sibling that she declares she "needs" all the time.

Ballet

Just a little snippet of the girls' Ballet recital. 

Avery also had an art display. We are enjoying our Co-op so much. 

Talking

He is extremely proud of his new trick.

Wiggle Worm

The other morning as Philip and I sipped our coffee and prayed together his lap was infiltrated by our wiggliest child to date. As he juggled his coffee, book and thighs from extremely bone bits he jokingly exasperated, "Annie, your entire body is moving!"

In her cute little chipmunk voice she responded, "But, not my toes."

Annie K: movement wrapped in skin since conception.

(The only baby I actually thought would break through my belly.)

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We are still here!

Just busy.

We started our second year of Co-op and love it, so much better the second time around.

Paul Thomas is taking, Institute in Excellent in Writing, History Comes Alive and Catechesis of the Good Shepherd. 

Avery is taking, Institute in Excellent in Writing, History Comes Alive, Art and Catechesis of the Good Shepherd III.  

Mary Colette is taking, Ballet, Book Club, Cooking and Catechesis of the Good Shepherd II. 

George is taking P.E. and Catechesis of the Good Shepherd I.

Anastasia is taking, Ballet, P.E. and Catechesis of Good Shepherd I.

Eleanor is taking, too many snacks, Baby Ballet (twirling in the gym when no one is using it) and marching around like she owns the place. She is doted on by two very special big girls and she tells us frequently how much she loves them and how much they love her.

Bennett is not taking naps on Friday's, but is smiling and cooing at any and all. He is in arms all day and is otherwise being spoiled which is lovely because during the week he has a hard life of a sibling constantly loving on him and trying to make him laugh and growing up much too fast!

Everyone's favorite class is Catechesis! However all of the classes are so much fun. 

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Oh this girl, how she adores these kittens.
She is in heaven with these two.

Anastasia has a special way with animals, every time we go to a butterfly house she is the one that all the butterflies land on. She and a robin had an enchanting encounter this summer, as she hopped along singing her sweet little song the robin hopped three feet in front and they just hopped through the yard together sharing a spectacular moment. Annie had no problem securing the billy goats face in her hands and turn in his head to look eye to eye with one another. If ever there was a forest nymph I believe this girl to be one. She is an enchanting creature all on her own. 

We have been living this for awhile now

Star Wars is very serious around here even for those that have never seen them. 

Too Much

Too Much!

This is kind of how I feel right now watching all that is happening in our church at the moment.  

These two were waiting the explosion of fireworks and I sit waiting the explosion of lies and cover ups and sins and laws broken.  I still don't understand why these people feel they are above the law, God's and country. What I really want to do it go and slap and then yell at them all because they have acted in the most selfish way imaginable, which is the antitheses of how I am trying to rear our children.

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Eleanor Rose

Sacrifice

Today we embark on a forty days of fasting and penitence in reparation for our church. As a family discussed how priest over the years had broken the law and their bishops lied and covered. We were able to talk to the children about how lies are always found out and always cause so much more damage than just accepting consequences. It is amazing how much our children get and how they see with unclouded eyes...you do right even if its uncomfortable or even painful. We also discussed about how Jesus dying on the cross was reparation for our sins and so know we are trying to imitate Jesus with small acts of reparation, small sacrifices. So we asked for ideas, "So guys what should we sacrifice?"

In the most excited, enthusiast voice two arms in the air, "ME!"

We are not giving up Anastasia, we are giving up movies, which always hits momma harder than anyone else, treats, snooze buttons and Paul Thomas is trying not to stay up so late reading, Avery is giving up some playtime for praytime and Mary Colette wants to go to "Everyday Mass". We will do what we can and offer all that we do for the healing of our Church, the healing of the victims and the souls of priest and bishops.

I saw you

Sunday was a busy day. We had company early and brunch to clean up and so much planning to do, planning for our new school year. As towers of books, tantalizing ideas and lofty hopes surround me most of the day, I want you to know that I saw you. I saw you on your speeder. I saw you in your race car. I saw you chase bad guys and I relished it all. 

You are exploding in growth lately, and I want you to know, I see you. Even when I am not able to etch out the time I want with you, I see you.

I am so proud of the big boy you are growing into and am so looking forward to our upcoming school year.

Purely Felt

Lately Gia has been taking a couple of kiddos at a time to enjoy quiet time with them and a few weeks ago Avery went just by himself. When we went to pick him up Annie asked from the back of the van in a kind of panic where Avery was, thinking he might miss out on a grandparent visit. We told her that he was already there and we would be picking him up. She was content. As we turn towards the driveway Avery was up at the house and waved to us and Annie just burst out in the most pure laugh of love and excitement. She just laugh and laugh until tears were streaming down her face and laugh even more when she got out of the van and hugged Avery. He was only gone one night, but the joy of reuniting overcame her.

During the same visit Annie asked for an apple and found there were none, Gia needing to go to the store was spouting off the items she was going to pick up and said, "And apples for Miss Priss." to Annie. Then asked if Annie wanted to come to which she of course said yes, "to go to the store and to meet Miss Priss."

More recently we have given in and have started Bennett on a pacifier to which Annie calls a "suckafy" it is fitting.

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Annie has been the most excited about Bennett's arrival. Every hour she stops and ask if she can hold him and is so careful and still with her little charge. Most of the time he nestles down and just rest with her. She examines him thoroughly each time and really soaks in his littleness. 

Watching a little one become awe-stuck by new life is one of the best things about having a large family.

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The first thing Annie K noticed about Bennett, "Bennett has a sharp tongue."

The Boys!

Look at that pure happiness smile on George, big brother to a baby brother is just beyond words.

The Little Mommas, each in there own way.

My Seven

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Just a little clip of our current Ballerina.

Mary Colette took Ballet at our Co-op this school year which was such a fantastic introduction into the dancing world. 

I missed her winter recital due to several of us being sick and was so worried I wouldn't make this one because the uncertainty of when Bennett would be born. Bennett was born on Sunday, we went home on Tuesday, we watched cousin Lenny on Wednesday and meet our newest cousin Rex that day as well and then watched our Ballerina on Friday. It all worked out beautifully much like her recital piece.  

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First Play Date

Bennett 12 days old

Theodore 9 days old

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Benedict, my little tongue guy.

Weight

You stopped nursing five months ago. I miss it, I miss you. Even though there is another little one in my lap now, I still long for our quiet peaceful nursings at night. Your desire to be quieted and settled by me and what only I could give you. As that time quickly slipped by I made an effort to savor and acknowledge the moment. The way you slipped back into babyhood as you nursed, your sweet profile and how we knew these times were fleeting and yet so rejuvenating. My favorite, only you, thing was when you finished you would look me straight in the eyes and smile at me.  Then slowly allow sleep to take over again. As I lifted you up, head on my shoulder I rubbed your back once, twice, a full body sigh from you and all your weight pressed into me; complete trust, complete content. I'd linger at your bed, feeling your little body's weight for a bit longer, knowing that soon, too soon you would follow your siblings and grow beyond this need, this moment in life. 

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Beginning of Co-op and the End of Co-op.

Questions

Avery has always had a way with words and lately he has been asking some really thoughtful questions.

"Mommy, if someone gave you a compliment, which one would you be the most proud of?"

"Mommy when you were little what was the hardest rule to follow?"

"Mommy, if you could make up five new laws what would they be?"

Options

Recently Philip and I were talking about schooling options as our children mature. There are so many great options around here! There are great catholic schools and great catholic hybrid schools all with pros and cons. As we discussed tutions and what that money could pay for outside of a school setting, we talked about just hiring a private tutor for certain subjects as well.

Annie piped in, "A private tooter...that be yucky!"

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First picture of all seven.

We welcomed Benedict 'Bennett' Philip on Sunday. 

Contrary to the picture Annie really is thrilled to have Bennett here and was the first to hold him. The hospital was just a bit overwhelming and seeing her Momma in an atypical state really caught the littles off guard. 

We are enjoying Bennett and the joy he brings.

Etched on the Heart

Written back on March 1

Today, I pray that Our Lord can make something manageable out of the mess I made.

This morning we gathered for morning prayers and memory work which is something I require of the oldest four and is the extent of George's formal teaching at the moment. After we finished I told the three oldest their assignments and who I would be working with first. We settled into the classroom and cracked open our books. The door hurriedly opened and the most precious soon-to-be-five-year-old swept in with determination, asked eagerly if he could be on "Baby Duty."  I replied, "of course" and warmed at his transition from "little" to "big". A few minutes later, I left the classroom to retrieve an item and saw four little ones, some on the table others in chairs with stacks of crackers and mountains of crumbles all over the floor happily enjoying yet another morning snack. George had risen to his duty and supplied everyone with unauthorized snacks.

I snapped because I actually didn't see the scene as I just described it. I saw rules being broken and a floor, that not fifteen minutes ago I had swept up, being desecrated again. I saw more time taken away from a daily schedule that is up to only me to keep. I saw another interruption into my perfectly planned day. I got upset and reacted poorly and stole the new found "bigness" away from my almost five year old. The word 'crestfallen' doesn't come close to describing how he looked. Broken. Confused. Pained. Slapped in the face with the reality of what happened and the reality that I could not undo what I had just done, I sobbed. I scooped up my beautiful boy and held him and apologized and told him that he did a wonderful job being on "Baby Duty" and rocked him and kissed him and ached for him and for our relationship that is now forever altered. 

I begged God to not let this happen again, but it will. I am a fallen human in fallen world. I begged God to help me take a moment longer to survey a scene before reacting. Please God, let me sort out the 'Urgent' from the 'Important' and react appropriately. Please do not let me crush these beautiful souls anymore with my self-centeredness. Let me teach them to serve by serving them. 

There's is nothing I wouldn't do to give my children unconditional, pure love and take away all past failures. Yes, I would give my life if the exchange existed. It doesn't. Not by me anyway. In a world with sin, it is what Christ, and only He, gave us.

So tonight I will beg forgiveness and beg for the ability to love my children better tomorrow, like we mothers do every night. And I will trust that God will be their All-in-All.

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Oh my beautiful, heartbreaking, silly cute, funny, goofy, always ready for an adventure big little girl, I love you so very much.

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A crazy picture that captures the spirit of this whirlwind girl at the moment.

Annie K is all in all the time, even if she doesn't know what that means. She is hitting the hard part of littleness. The part with big emotions that usually results in high pitch screaming over spilled milk. (Ha ha God, thanks for all the lessons in patience.) She loves fiercely and protects her interests with the same fierceness. She is sorting out big issues in her world lately which is very charming. 

"Mommy, where is Bennett?" daily.

"Where does Colette live?" she asked her daddy the other night. (They share a room and our house isn't that big.)

"Mommy, can you be my mom?" ummm, check.

"Can Bennett sit in my whap?"

My Aunt and Uncle stopped by to drop off an Easter basket and after they left she told me, "Mommy, I saw my new Mom and Dad." She has always been one to try to join another family.

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While cuddling George asked, "Is Bennett done cooking yet?!"

Another night he informed Mary Colette on Bennett's size, "Colette do you know how big Bennett is? He is the same size as a lego man."

"He was but he is much bigger now," I told him

"Yeah, he is as big a dupo-lo man."

After discussing other toy options we settled on his teddy bear for size, just not weight. 

Adding To the Ranks

We are currently 34 weeks along with baby. (I say "we" because Philip has been a champion and has cooked 90% of the dinners and cleaned up 100% and done bedtime so that I can rest.)

Well if you haven't heard this pregnancy is brought to you be the letter B.

We are expecting Baby Benedict Philip soon. We are calling him Bennett, which is the medieval name for Benedict and hopefully avoids the nickname ending in -y-. It's getting confusing around here...Annie, Lenny and Ellie equals too many!

Also if you feel inclined to join us, we are offering the hardships and pain of this pregnancy and labor for Brian and Beth, which we met prior to knowing we were having a boy.

We weren't going to find out gender as it was such a beautiful and needed surprise with Ellie, however I have had such a miserable time bonding that Philip said absolutely. That way we all know and can start calling Bennett by name, which has been so helpful. Annie asked me daily, "Mommy, where's Bennett?" And Mary Colette is just an explosion of excitement talking about how she just can't wait to meet him. Oh and also Annie says she wants three Bennetts, one for me, one for her and one for Gia. I think that's a lovely idea and maybe she will get to pick out a Bennett from the store. I am reminded of Mary Colette meeting George for the first time and insisting on trading Baby Doll Baby Doll for George all the time. She would wrap up Baby Doll Baby Doll nestle up right beside me and gentle lay Baby Doll Baby Doll down in my lap while patting hers ready to receive my baby.

I predict that in a little over a year we will have another little Blaxton soldier marching in line behind his sweet siblings. 

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The Waiting Place.

A Moment Please

Do you ever look up from your daily life and realize everyone is changed, everyone is grown to a new point and somehow it just happened in front of you and you didn't notice?! Yes, the forever cry of parenthood, the days are long, but the years are short.

I realize that this year we as a family have changed, have grown. Our days a full and slow and short all at the same time. We are finding a rhythm of sorts that is soon to be reconfigured. In the fullness of daily life I have so often chosen to stay in the task instead of the moment.  There needs to be balance between the two, however there is a part of me that is sad that the task is taken the upper hand most of the time this school year. 

This Lent with being on such a crazy diet already I did not take on anymore in the food department other than the no treats and such. I am doing my best to fast from my addiction from social media, which I thought would help me to blog more, instead Philip and I are spending the evenings talking. A far better choice!

I do want to blog again, I really miss the outlet for creativity mainly in picture taking.

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Eye to Eye.